That's the assignment that I'm currently working on. I have absolutely no motivation to do it right now. I just can't focus. The assignment is due in 16 minutes, and I have absolutely none of it done. Blah. I tried to get some of the reading done just now, but I couldn't tell you what I just read if my life depended on it.
I don't even know how I feel these days. I'm shut in and alone. I don't want to be, but I do. It's so hard to explain. I miss my friends, I miss my old life...and I want nothing more than to go back to having a real social life. But for some reason..when the opportunity arises, I would almost rather just stay home. Why? I really don't know. I've found myself ignoring Irene more and more lately. I'm sure that's for the best, it's just a bit out of character for me. She usually knows how to control me and get what she wants out of me. Maybe I'm just learning to control myself with her.
I've really been wanting to see Angie. It's been ages since we've hung out and I miss her so much. She was the first person I was ever really able to be myself around. My first *real* best friend. I'm not really sure where or why we began to separate, but I miss our closeness. I miss her. But lately whenever we try to make plans, something just comes up, and it's a bit disappointing. Last week, when we wanted to get together, I flew out to Texas. I had a great time with my husband, of course, but I was pretty disappointed that I didn't get to see her.
Now, my car is in the shop and the mechanic is taking forever getting it back to me. I'm optimistic about getting my car back on Monday, but we'll see what happens. Cross your fingers for me!
I don't even know whether anyone really reads these. I've written in xanga, I've written in live journal..but hardly anyone ever responds.
I don't know why I feel so desperate for approval these days. I'm so different than I used to be. Or maybe I'm not...I don't know. Before, I always had someone there. All my friends were still close, and we were always together. Now..I'm alone so often.
Blah. Enough feeling sorry for myself. Time to try to get back to the Jews!

I know I don't really use this anymore, but I need some serious stress relief.
I want to go back to school more than anything right now. But it's fucking impossible. Why? Because my parents are dick heads. Punkin and I were about to go get married so I could go to school, but then we decided that we don't want this to be rushed just so that I can go to school. So last night, I finally sucked it up and told my dad that I was going to need some of his tax papers so I could fill out my forms. He fucking flipped out on me. He started screaming and throwing the cats and swearing at everything. Like I made up the damn rules. I left the house for a little while. Just walked around for about 45 minutes. I didn't want to go back in yet, but the car is acting up so he couldn't come get me. Why was it that big of a deal? And just the other day, mom was going through papers from different schools, looking through them for Sarah. Hah. Sarah won't be able to go to school, either. Not to mention that when I was in highschool, my parents never once took an interest in me going. I just told them what school I wanted to go to and they asked no questions. They're really starting to piss me off. I can't wait until I can start this new job and get as far away from them as I can. I don't need this kind of damaging behaviour in my life.
I have more ranting to do, but maybe I'll do it later... ciao...

Someone PLEASE explain this to me...
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